silvermancer a.k.a. Rei. I sloth my entire day doing nothing but FUN things which i think they are with a main purpose to solely entertain myself. Like all, I have my temperaments which are pretty bizarre at times..hmm..perhaps most of the time, eh? ahaha. And I'm feeling 
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Sunday, October 25, 2009 @ 13:25
the perfections of the lil imperfections  with dearie leaving me behind soon in about 2 weeks time... it is as though that i never thought of what could and might happened there and then.. till this that..thoughts of this clouded my mind ever since he announced to me his plan of leaving ti pursue his dream career.. i support. as i keep this fear and worries in me, myself...i solved and managed ot talk myself out of the negative things that might be..and i;m all a happy kid again nevertheless, yesterday dearie surprised me with questions of these like.."what do you like about me?" ...and questioning on us in terms of distance, security, trust and the unknown. as i fight through to hold onto my tears in the public, i gave in to them eventually when i'm at home. its unbearable. the thought and feelings of having some1 so dear to you to slipped away like that is scarily frightening. there was a time when i thought i was ok without him..when i dont needed him i'll be ok. like how i use to be when i'm with the other guys of my past relationships. but this had stop to came into a time when i cant live without him. ironic? yes i know. and i understand. we have the most ups and down and the most exciting and fun filled loved relationship hat i ever had experienced. he was wonderfully fit to be my next partner in life. i practically cried my shit off throughout this relationship...ahaha..yah..laugh all you want. shzeli crying? ahahha...yes ppl. i cried like shit when im with him. he managed to opens up and held this fragile heart that i hide in me. so basically i can just cry naturally on small small things that makes me feel so sad without control. lol~!!!  so ok....i do understand on why and what he fears..but hey? ntg is perfect. and aint that suppose to be part of the fun being in a relationship? at least we tried to hold things and make it better. at least we put in an effort. and let things take its course rather than doing ntg and just let it be lik ethat. as i said this dearie udnst what i mean..and yes...i wished that he realy undt waht im saying. :) but nevertheless this i tell him " that it is the lil imperfections that he has that makes everything perfect. ...:) and i love him so that way..:)  and now.i need to go wake him up from his so called prince charming deep slumber..ahaha..tsktsktsk but im overall happy with him..and is glad that he opens up to me like that..:) and just like that...we go our ways in loved with each otehr...waiting for another better wonderfuly day to see each otehr again.. till we embrace each other...LET'S PARTY~!!!! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAH...and yeah..pls remeber that i always loved you.  Labels: thoughts: heart to heart Mitsuketa! ♥ silvermancer |