silvermancer a.k.a. Rei. I sloth my entire day doing nothing but FUN things which i think they are with a main purpose to solely entertain myself. Like all, I have my temperaments which are pretty bizarre at times..hmm..perhaps most of the time, eh? ahaha. And I'm feeling 
TickTockTickTock  RockyRock candyTalks fellow Potatoes Pings NuclearDust TheRealZurachas Erlynda UsagiIncidents Mel Dahling JerJerJer Memento Fresh026 Treasure Pig&Bear DevilPeng JarJar Elaine Jaryn Warii Rhea Elculiart archives January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 music credits skin by: Jane edited by: silvermancer |
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 @ 21:21
i cant explain..i cant explain... life...my life ...is smtg that i cant explain...even if i can...its not a complete explanation... i once love life... i treassure everything in my life... im always laughing and smiling... but ntg is pemernant... short-lived it is... slowy my world came crushing down... im facing situations that im not suppose to go thru ... looking at my age back then...im not suppose too... im too young for all these... left out; betrayed; framed;unloved;untrusted;unwanted; unheard... families...friends...and the surroundings... i began to hate life... i hate everything... most of all, i hate my very own existence... i eventually "left" the world... closing doors to the world... putting up shields... and i lived in my very own lil world... with death as my companion... a light then came into my world... bringging me out , seperating me from death i have a reason to lived... i lived to see...to only see... thats my past...a past that i hate to talked about... a past that contributes greatly to the current me... living in darkness for so long, u cant blame me for being emotioneless and expresionless at times...i do still have feelings ya know...i dont deny the fact that there are times that i dun feel anything at all...but sometimes i just dunno how to show u theu my face!!! which equals to expresionless..*sigh*... therefore ..dun take my blank face for ntg...dun take my dun-give a damm attitude too seriously...dun take my smile and laughter for hapiness... my mind and thoughts are at a complicated level...im becoming more aware and acute to my surroundings...my senses are sharper than b4...and most of all...i have very hard time to give my full trust to a person... ...no..i dun wat to be this way...but learning from experience,...this is the only way i knoe that i keep myself safe...i dun wish to go back to the past...the good and bad effects of my past is clearly seen in the current me... im sorry to those who feel disturbed by this acknowledgement, but this is the words of my heart... but if u need me, u'll know where to find me... if we are together and u cant find me... away from ppl i love to be... so go look for me at a place... a place so quite and beautiful... a place that gives me peace... a place wher i can put away the complexcity of my mind... a place where i can surender to myself.... somewhere high... somewhere alone... somewhere quiet... somewhere blissful... u'll find me there... i'm always there... but one 1thing for sure..anime always makes me happy...ehhe..^^ ...ne...there u have it..my life in my very best explanation...but still...wat i've felt..wat i've seen..wat i've experience...is smtg that i cant realy explain... Mitsuketa! ♥ silvermancer |