silvermancer a.k.a. Rei. I sloth my entire day doing nothing but FUN things which i think they are with a main purpose to solely entertain myself. Like all, I have my temperaments which are pretty bizarre at times..hmm..perhaps most of the time, eh? ahaha. And I'm feeling 
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Saturday, August 12, 2006 @ 15:03
from the bottom of my heart...-updated!- zen zen wakarimasen (realy realy dun understand)...yup! thats wats with me now...speechless...yes..im very speechless..i realy dunno wat to say liao...its beyond words n the only thing to describe it is for u to actually feel n experience it yourself...no words to describe...beyond my capabilities...pondering n knowking on every door i knew best...but ntg seems to work properly... chinese...yes...i blog it in chinese its not bcoz i dun wan u to read dear, its just bcoz i feel like its the best way for me to express it... n end up u r upset about it n thinked that i dun wan u 2 read...well jar, its not that,ok? .... i dun mind having u around in my blog...n im actually very glad that u r updating yourself bout me through my blog...mayb it means ntg to u...but to me..having u reading my blog IS SMTG TO ME!!! there are lots of things i cant tell u directly...i wanted to..but i just cant open my mouth to tell u about it...so im telling everything i wana say in here including things that i wanted to tell u...so having u reacting that way n telling me that u r gonna stop reading just bcoz i wrote taht in mandarine n u feel like its better for u not to read realy breaks my heart...its like...i just lost myself a way to communicate with ya...losing the only way to reach out to ya...n u were like slamming the door..wel..mayb u didnt realise the impact of it...but it realy hurts me this time...i may take it well otehr time, but not this time jar...not this time...say me silly..call me stupid...say watever u want...do watever u want...think wat ever u want...u still reading this or not..i have no idea...but who cares! im teling this to u anyway...i love u...i trust u...and cant u c!!!??? im trying very very hard to tell u things that i cant tell u personally!!!! u want to talk to your ex...u wan to go clubbing.. fine! i dun mind at all...n i dun realy care bcoz i realy trust u thats y im so fine with all these...but all i asked for and all i ever wanted its for u to constanly hinting..or tell me or show me that u still care about me...that im still in your heart...izit very hard to do that dear? ...i just wana know wetehr u still love me or not...every1 likes to know that they are still being loved sometime....dont,u dear?...sigh~...tell u frankly..i realy give up in sms-ing u...90% of me have given up sms-ing u..coz 90% u nv reply...n everytime i wana sms u...i will definatly prepare myself for not expecting any replies from u...do u know how sad i am...mayb im the one who is thinking too much or smtg...but sms-ing u is a way of telling u that i miss u...that i still got u in my mind...n i wana know how u are doing and stuff...n u dun have to reply me long long n stuff...it will only take u less than 5 mins to do that...isit very demanding to let me know about your wll-being? laypo? clal me kaypo if u want to..but im just being realy concerned. dear,im such a failure arent' i? ...i was once told that my caring attitude is my advantage and in the same time its my greatest downfall....i guess its true,huh? blah! watever~ well, jar..that all i wana say...lets not make this blog too fiery..ehhe...wont do us any good...but im glad that im giving u know wat i want u to know all this while...as a summary, love n trust is tehre for u to take....and all i ever wanted is for u to show that u still care... ehhe... :) enuf of matters of teh hearts...lets move on to today..hmm...well..aiyah!!!! hai~~...need to go dinenr now...will updat elater... update!!! : 7.29pm..yes im back from granny's..lol~~~ hohoho...bangganya aku lepaskan semua kata isi hati ku..hohoho!!! anyway anyway...look!!! its a plan flying by..ahhah...ok..so the gila-ness is back..so wat the?..oh well..going out with teh gang 4 pizza later...akkaka...muacks! ppl! muacks!! will updat later again update: 1.40am...yes ppl..its pass midnite..n im still awake..as usuall..i just got back from hangging out with the gang...went for pizza...then go watch ant bully...jar was exeptionally quiet....but he say he's fine..well..ok...i have no choice but to take it...lol~~~...anyway, ..erm..realy hjope he's fine.. ehhehe...worried,ok!!!!????...concern mah....i know ler im kinda harsh n dramatic in my expression up there...but hey...i was geram mer...then i think its time he should know wats in my head n heart mer...so mer just shoot all out lor...sowie lor....but wat is written or spoken, will not be taken back....coz thats from the bottom of my heart.... ;) anyway, the ant bully...i was shivering in the cinema!! oh,god!!! was trying to sit close to jar..but end up...canot tahan liao..i got back pain...hp entah wan ajatuh how many times...ok..i switch to blowing my hands...no..it doesnt work well aso...ok...4get it...keep on rubbing my hands n blowing..n hiding in my pockets...sit close to jar....repeat this same routine..n wala!!! by the end of the show...im still cold..but at least im not shivering nymore,k?....ehheehhe o..k...this michael budak ar....ish! phek chek again...now regards to his assng...ahhaha...la..like i can tolong him with business stuff...but according to him, he say...he talks to me better than dreaming...ahhahah!!! tsktsktsk...go sleep la ...canot think wat to write about assng still dowan sleep..still wana write smtg tonite..tsktsktsk...well..im a bad persuader ler...was trying to persuade him to go sleep..but now har...hai~~~...end up he bcome more active..look~ now he's telling me about y the mosquito come bite me..n that now chin suey's hair very yeng... =.="tsktsktsk...budak ini..hai~~~...lost my hp number!! wah lau!! so bo sim...padan muka..lost my hp number somemore ler..now have to wait till i got home only can ask 4 help...tsktsktsk....lol!! now must think of a way to cut off his conversation..sleepy liao leh!!!...n he wont stop teling me about chin suey's hair style...lol~~~ahhahha..now he got new story tell me d...lol~~~ and jar,...take care,ok? ...u look so tired today....*patpat* ...sleep so much today...no wonder so stim...ahhaha..get alot of rest doesnt mean must sleep 1 ler dear...ehhehe...*huggs*...nitez ppl...i'll try to c wat this michale hav eto sya now...lol~~~ok..he got love story to tell now...ahha...nitez~ Mitsuketa! ♥ silvermancer |