silvermancer a.k.a. Rei. I sloth my entire day doing nothing but FUN things which i think they are with a main purpose to solely entertain myself. Like all, I have my temperaments which are pretty bizarre at times..hmm..perhaps most of the time, eh? ahaha. And I'm feeling 
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Monday, July 10, 2006 @ 14:20
Hitting at the target point Bomb Away!~!~!~ argH!!! yes! its 2.18pm now n jar still cleaning up his assignments... =.=" ...wonder wat time his class is starting...dun think he had his lunch yet..oh, wat the heck!?..he dun seems to bother...mind me... *yawn*..yes...im sleep already..its cooling n the prefect day for sleeping when u r entiely home alone...nono..no music plz..somehow the more i listened...the more sleepy i am...have been doing my translation..nah! just at nymber 3...n sleepy already...ugghh~~~ damm the whole road today!! dam!! stuck in the traffic for almost 2 hours!!! wat the hell is all these? cant realy seems to figure out wats wrong...its juat rain...so wats with the jam???...driving slpw doesnt mean jam..n~~~ no1 seems to b driving slow during rain... =.=" ...so wats the freaking probs with these ppl!!!??? my car almost skied when doing a turn somewhere near colege...wat the? who the hell spilled some sands on the ground???? luckily im driving ford...i would have been dead with a proton or a produa ... tsk! gripping n tyre n especially handling is an issue here...so wtf!? yes! damming!!! im getting cranky bcoz all this..n im damming! n i need to to get these stupid stuff out of me...so bare wif me will ya!?n not only the road n the traffic...nastu lil upu....ruined my speech..n ms.june dare to ask me to stay back today at 3pm!!!???/ wat the hell!!??? hello!!!???? my class ends at like..11am!!!????...n wher eshe think i lived? nearby the college like her 2 mins drive????...n im cycling izit????...tsktsktsk....of coz i say no to her!? tsktsktsk...this is insane..totaly out of the mind!!!! definate!!!! n oh...look atthose preety lil pasta..all spiral up n so nice...awww..put in some hot water...make them boil...and wat!? its rotten!!!??? not excatly stick with those rotten eggs smell n all that but hey! we are talking about insects!!!! baby beetles ..ugghh...well it looks like a beetle..hokkien call it as..erm...'ku'...the type which can be found in rice...ugghhh~~~ throw the whole packet away..although it expire on 2008...eek! who the hell wan eat that!?....end up getting lunch from nearby kopitiam...make some tea to relax myself..but end up more fiery i am...lol~~~ look! look! its 2.30 now...n jar still havent go out for his lunch. ish! budak ini!!! *gripfist* guess his having class at 4-6 today...yo~~~wats wif me,huh? lantaklah budak itu...lol!!!!! tsktsktsk....pek cheknya aku ni!!!~~~!!!~~!!!....must sabar~~~....lol~~~..nah! jazz online d..forza italia!forza italia!! none stop..tsktsktsk...argh!!!! sleepy!! sleepy!!!! ugghhh~~~~ hai~~~..blog sampai duno wat to say liao...need to do smtg to keep me awake!!!!! ugghhh~~~ n maple still canot play. dammit!!! dunno wat stupid error with the game guard!!! elo! elo!...u fatty game guard server! faster fix your server la!!! ish!!!! stressnya aku~~~~...celaka eh!!! jahanam eh!!! #@#@#$ hai~~~.... update:6.06pm...yes ,ladies n gentlemen..we are here to continue this heart wrencing episode of my undying n ever miserable life....starring again is this blooger, shzeli the forever invinsible gal!! yay!! *clapclap*...ugghhh~~~ ok...cut the crap! ....just found out that jar class ends at 1pm...guess he had his lunch already...wasted all my worries...nvm...he always did...managed to have a so called super mega doss of lil hyper tiny chat with him after he's done with his assingments...that is aso i bertegur sapa with him aso...he dun seem like wana chai me...i've notices this since weeks ago...nvm nvm...i dun wana talk about it... kinda dissapointed with him...but nvm...understood...in his situations cant blame him (thats wat i was led to believe) ...okok...u guys always say i think too much..yea..mayb i do..i admit it i do think too much..but hey! i cant take such risk by brushing such fine details aside...wat my horoscope said about me this month seems to make sense...n im a person of detail!!! every tiny things may not matters to u..but hey! it means alot to me...n u guys know how observant i am ...i do notice alot of things...practically even the fine details i do notice them ....n u know i was trained to be analytical by my dad since i was a kid...har!?...cant blame me to put all these tiny puzzles to make 1 big jigsaw puzzle!!!! ahahha...sigh~~~ ...have been stressing alot since college starts... life is taking a big turn...i dun seem to know my way anymore...u guys at college always think im so great n all that,rite!!!???? ...actually im not,ok!!!???? ...im not entirely fine at all...i may always sound happy n keep on laughing n smiling to u guys...but u guys realy dunno how is things going on deep inside..." behind the smile, crafted a thousand tears" ...n its not easy 4 me to tell things out...there are even tons of things which are not blogged into this page...they were too painfull to be taiped into this...its too severe to be shared with u guys...especially jar...i dun have the heart to let him know such stuff about me...it'll just make him more worried...dun wish to troubled him... but in the end...jazz n yvonne, thanks u guys for listening to som eof my severe complains..especially jazz... jazz..thanks for being with me all this while...thansk for making lil time from your busy scedule for me...realy appreciated your effort in tending to me right away after you are done with your assingments or even during your assing break...n thanks for giving me attention when i most needed it!!! ehhe..*huggs*...i luv ya lots jazz!!! n yvonne...i luv ya too!!! i gotta admit..i do get jelose wif ya....but hey! its a gal thing, rite? ehehhe...realy appreaciate it for you to give me the lil details...n happy burfday!!! ^.^ sorry for troubling u with my bursting just now...i realy canot hold it longer...very terseksa ler....n u knooe ler..so many things going on in my head...n i cant just simply tell ppl such stuff....n especially u know who....ehehheh...although u guys may not knoe how sakit hati i am...or i might not look so bad...well..i did try to get my sad msg thru many times...but i usually end up saying smtg nice..or put it in a nice way till ppl dun even know its a sad thing or how sakit hati i am...hai~~~..mayb thats my freaking problem to all these...u r right, i should b direct next time...but its hard ler dear...especially when i tends to make things sound ok with me...hai~~~...anyway, thanks for everything dear! its almost 7pm now...n still dun feel like eating...realy dun feel like eating...have been like this since my missereble days start...all my breakfast n lunch was force to be eaten...dun wana get severe gastrict n being sent to hospital...even if i do being admit into hospital..i dun wish jar to know about this...im having sore throat now...since days ago..just gotten worst yesterday...jar was too busy to notice my msn msg...basically he's been too "busy" to notice wats going on with me...i basically 90% give up in sms him...no point..every time i did sms him as a sign of concern n all...i was understood that theres a 99.9% of chances that he wont reply...such a damm lazy ass to reply sms...now days aso dun wan chai me ....suak ler! ...i boh lat liao ler...hai~~~...yvonne u know the whole story of this...oh, wat ever! life is always that suckie...yes, pretty contradicting to my blog theme...but hey! im serious...life is always bitter sweet...just that mine..is extreeme in both ways...kejap kejap super beautiful n nice...kejap kejap...macam hantu saje....like now...like these days...all my misses n worries have been kept close in the heart...he seriously dunno wat hell i've been thru ...questions~~~ tons of them waiting to poured out like an overflow river...n now he's done with his assigments..at least 4 the time being...not even a single word...talk to him in msn aso like...talking to myself...sudenly aku ni macam alien saje...entah berapa kali..my conversation have been terminated...not even a single bye ... im sensing smtg is not right...yes...been sensing that way since weeks ago...im drowning in my own water... fillled up water too much...drowning..slowly..im drowning..withot him noticing it...can be said that he nv notices lil changes on me...well..blame all to my problem of making ugly things sounded nice...ahahhaha!!!! hai~~~ erm...guess i betetr go finish up my homework...hai~~ stressnya aku... update: 2.15am...yes..i know its late...but i have to do this..ahaha...for the sake of tomolo... i just wan asay that i've done my tanslation n my ps speech..n afetr a long day of fussing over that mater...im happy to say that i finaly cured...80% cured...thanks to kenneth...he somehow said smtg that reminds me of smtg..triigerd my wisdom...ahahha..so i finaly get to the core of my probz...n her eis my solution... my core probz is..i cared too much for him...shouldnt have cared too much about him as it will only make me more worried n stuff...in a way..it has lead me to treat him as mine my bf...tsktsktsk..thats definatly a nono...the biggest mistake...nv should have cared till cross the line....tsktsktsk...so the solution is...must keep in mind that my care for him is setakat buddies saje...so wat the hell he do, not my probz...how he wana treat me aso not my probz...as long as i knoe he's ok...then thats enuf...yup! thats the core probz..n thats the sollution. erm...n its so simple yet it take me soo long to figure that out!!! n it takes so many ppl to listened to my fuss untill some1 finaly struck my head n trigger the wisdom! tsktsktsk....oh well..i better get to bed now...head is abit bling bling d...ahhhaa...nites ppl!!! sry for all the troubles!!! muacks!!!! Mitsuketa! ♥ silvermancer |