silvermancer a.k.a. Rei. I sloth my entire day doing nothing but FUN things which i think they are with a main purpose to solely entertain myself. Like all, I have my temperaments which are pretty bizarre at times..hmm..perhaps most of the time, eh? ahaha. And I'm feeling 
TickTockTickTock  RockyRock candyTalks fellow Potatoes Pings NuclearDust TheRealZurachas Erlynda UsagiIncidents Mel Dahling JerJerJer Memento Fresh026 Treasure Pig&Bear DevilPeng JarJar Elaine Jaryn Warii Rhea Elculiart archives January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 music credits skin by: Jane edited by: silvermancer |
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 @ 19:46
in a minute...Escapism- ranting like nv before ah yes... life has been peaceful for a sec... past weeks / month has been hell...work work work work work...OT OT OT OT...issues issues issues issues....worries worries worries worries....complaint complaint complaint... gah! watevr so after 1st stage of proposalS has been submitted... tis week...well...these few days are rest days... all i ever do..is ESCAPISM!!! how? sleep sleep sleep... pray pray pray that i wont be seeing Dad's Email... ugghhhh ...i dun wana think on "that" nymore..at leats for now... expressing myself freely with buddies...shoot out whatever i've been unable to express properly in the past/lately.. cry myself out...which is bad..cos the next day you will look like some extreme kungfu panda ..its not good for the eyes ...ahahha crap crap crap... read lots and lots of manga...not being picky this time...what aso i telan...even hardcore romance (which is totally out of my league) ..*nodnod* see how desperate i am to "run away" ... make lots of dates/appointments to go out....janji keluar aso kam luan..who where aso doesnt mater...lol~!! OMG~!!! LONG LIFE!!! Dad just called.... uggghhh~~~ asking this n asking that..been having trauma lately from dad...uggghhh~~~ always talk bout that always talk bout that...gah~!! give me a break! and yes...i went out for while to ss2 for dinner b4 coming home n publish this...lol~!!! so many things to do ...so many things to think...wth wth wth wth~!!! and yesh...July is coming... its about time for me to get ready for the worst...*shrugs* July is the worts...August too... hai~ im sooo not looking fwd to it...but on the other hand i want it to quickly end.. and no..its not that i dun loook fwd in seeing you guys in July and August ... but this 2 months is hell for me too...i have to deal with my lecs in July and in August...i have to deal with my parents... i wish i get to go back in August to celebrate grandma's 80th bday...hang out by the beach with mel daling...and perhaps get to see jar dear b4 he goes off in early sept...yes...i pray that im not "so lucky" to have those dates booked by my lecs~~~ *gribfist* but i aso dreaded the idea on my own meeting with my parents once i got back...hai~ i had enuf of australia and singapore ...i might as well tell them..im going to dubai!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!! so u see..my next trip back to PG will be hell be it in August or Sept...curently i thought of giving up everything as they dun listen or they just pretend to listen..i feel like telling them "just do watever you want. im sick of everything" after a talk with you, jar jar today somehow...manage to lit back a lil fighting spirit...im so happy for you though im kinda bitter from knowing taht you wil end your course earlier than expected which means...i wont be able to go to your graduation day as wat i wanted, planned and as i promised. nether less, it never once cross my mind to scrap all of my plans...my earlier plans. y? bcos its MINE anyway...ahahaha. modify ? yes! scrap off? no. i do wat i set out to do.. ^^ but anyway, im still very happy for you that im pretty excited bout it. ahahha!! and it makes me wonder again when can i settle mine quickly...wether should i continue fighting for my rights or just go ahead with wat they want...hai~ which obviously im gonna regret for the rest of my life... solid justification...solid justification...gah~!! y isit so hard to totally nail my dad down. n im sure he'll start calling and writing email to me again~~~ after this Sunday since he knows that im going to the postgraduates fair this sunday. n im going to be so depress again~~~ dilema dilema dilema....then everyone in uni will sart askimg me.."shzeli...wats up? y r u looking so hollow this sem? u ok? dun worry much...i got your back..we got your back..." ah ya...thnx for that , Shin ..and otehrs.... wait till i tell him that i dun wana go to singapore this sept or even january next year...EEK! he will most probaly got a heart attack..and i'll be shoot with tons of questions...and wait till mum hears that i dun wana go australia...she wil give me "that" look and tell all my auntiess~~~....AH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...then dad willl call me up for a face to ace talk...blablablablabla....then my aunt will start calling me and ask and ask..and persuade persuade....WTF~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????? mayb i should just tell them.. "HEY! its my life...im gonna live it my way..y should i go someplace that YOU wana go and NOT ME!!!??? " they they will most probaly tell mebaout gratitude blablabla....but sry la...you know me well enuf..that is not the way i hold my gratitude. gawd!!! u understand wat im saying bor??? AH~~~~~~~ RHEA~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T________T i understand how you feel~~~ we understand eahc other...we r i the same boat..just that...im not as serious as you cos i still manage to HOLD my dad from making my visa to Sg. but at least your family is giving you a 1 way straight answer of their mind..my dad on the otehr hand is giving me a uh...his answer is complex...and confusing...I DUNO WAT THE HECK HE WANTS... stop giving me all the IF IF IF when you already has a solid answer in your mind. JUST SAY IT! n stop lecturing me on life philosophy..the heck i know them very well...u dun have to almost everyday remind me that: 1. watevever happens is all from my own doings~~~ 2. that i can nv be smarter than nature..certain things no matter how hard u fight, you will nv get it.. 3. there lies a fact that sometimes, somethings are blessing in disguise... 4. my future is in my own hands... 5. things happens for a reason.. oi, Dad! pelease la ~~~~ the more you repeat this...the more u made me depressed...jumping from the options i have upon graduation as you want...i will be confused as well, u know??? you want a throught research??? i will give it to you when im back...that is only on postgrads.but if you want a through research on work...im sry. i cant do that. i do not have the time n source to dig out every info that i want/ u required. but if you want me to decide n present it to you by the time im back in my next visit...i will give it to you. but i wish you will REALY listen n not pretend this time and do wat you promise me. n i want you to realy understand that no matter wat you say..or what others say... i will stick to my original plan , my dream...and I WILL FLY ONE DAY. wether you like it or not. plus with the fact that i've work myself up so far n im already on the 3rd stage of execution...u should understand well better than anyoneelse...that im teh type that who will not easily give up on things that i've fought so long for. n i dun mind to prove you wrong again. and oh look..i have to say all here...i dun have the guts to say all these infront of him...ugghhh~~~ perhaps i should...if im unable to control the situation when im back ...perhaps i will...of cos...with modification to my sentences...gah! this is ..sickening... anyway...sunday sunday... give me your best offer... ;) Labels: in a day life, thoughts: heart to heart Mitsuketa! ♥ silvermancer |